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Divorce almost always entails a lot of negative emotions and consequences. It’s difficult to see anything positive in it. But it actually can be an opportunity for you to transform your life on an emotional level and change your lifestyle for the better. When intense things happen in our lives they often cause us to have to change radically.

Patterns that may have been formed long ago can keep us re-creating the same scenarios, even when they are not healthy positions for us. When these...

There are 7 stages of grief and loss that you will experience when going through separation.

The universal stages of grief and loss that are most recognizable are: denial/sadness, depression, anger, bargaining, and acceptance.

There are two other stages of grief that a person goes through during separation of a major relationship. It’s hard to look at the last two stages when you are deep and raw in grief.

The sixth stage is recovering from the damage caused by the relationship and...

Transformations and changes are showing up in my divorce support groups!

My divorce support groups that begin as eight-week series often evolve into groups of people who continue on by joining the next session, and then extend their participation with series after series. The reasons are varied, but most of them feel that getting to the next level of healing is right around the corner, and they are motivated to keep working toward that goal. In the past month I have been hearing so many...

Divorce can be wrenching when kids are involved, but there’s a lot you can do to help children cope. If you’re a parent dealing with divorce, try to remember that your child needs you now more than ever. Offering reassurance, hope, and a sense of stability can help ease the effects of divorce on children of all ages.

Children Coping With Divorce

When children are free to love both of their parents without conflict of loyalty, to have access to them both without fear of losing...

When I’m working with divorced families, one of my goals is to help parents and children to retain, find, or redefine their own identities. All of the family members should be able to see themselves as being surrounded by their own circle of identity, even when they engage with other people.

Unfortunately, kids in divorcing families are often put into a situation where they are urged to feel more empathy for one parent over another. Or, they are put in the position of trying to figure...

Divorce With Dignity is a divorce facilitation service with the goal of getting people through their divorce in a holistic, cooperative, peaceful, and cost-effective way. One of the benefits we offer our clients is referrals for additional services they may need to make the divorce a smoother transition. For example, some clients may be in situations where they have a need to seek therapy or counseling during the divorce process. In these cases, we refer them to professionals like Susan...

During the last support sampler, one of the themes of the group was how to move on from the divorce. When folks are feeling so shamed, it’s really overwhelming to think of rebuilding their lives and how much energy it takes to reacclimate after a divorce.

A lot of the members who sought out the support group are really struggling and suffering with their decision to leave the relationship as well as feeling isolated and different from their current social group. They feel like they have...

Divorce is a scary and overwhelming thing. Sometimes people know they are unhappy in their marriage, but have trouble deciding what to do about it. Should they stick with the “known”, or jump into the unknown territory of divorce? How does one go about making the divorce decision?

One of our Divorce With Dignity referral associates is Marriage & Family Therapist Susan Regan, MFT. We asked her to share with us some of her thoughts on this topic.

Susan, in what ways do people...

There is something called the law of choice where we have the ability to take responsibility and choose new interpretations that empower when trying to heal from divorce. We can take back aspects of ourselves that we have projected onto our mate. We can observe what self-defeating behavior we’ve displayed and how to react without this self-defeating behavior. How do we respond to different situations? The pain from the past and the fear of the future often keeps us stuck and unable to...

Members in my divorce support group have discussed what bad habits they get into in their long-term relationships. I’ve often heard folks say that their long term relationships have changed them. They stopped doing things that made them feel happy and started experiencing less joy in their life in general. Group members question why they were with their partners and where things started falling apart in their relationships. Did they give up on their own lives? Was it possible to find...