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Transformations and changes are showing up in my divorce support groups!

My divorce support groups that begin as eight-week series often evolve into groups of people who continue on by joining the next session, and then extend their participation with series after series. The reasons are varied, but most of them feel that getting to the next level of healing is right around the corner, and they are motivated to keep working toward that goal. In the past month I have been hearing so many...

Divorce almost always entails a lot of negative emotions and consequences. It’s difficult to see anything positive in it. But it actually can be an opportunity for you to transform your life on an emotional level and change your lifestyle for the better. When intense things happen in our lives they often cause us to have to change radically.

Patterns that may have been formed long ago can keep us re-creating the same scenarios, even when they are not healthy positions for us. When these...

There are 7 stages of grief and loss that you will experience when going through separation.

The universal stages of grief and loss that are most recognizable are: denial/sadness, depression, anger, bargaining, and acceptance.

There are two other stages of grief that a person goes through during separation of a major relationship. It’s hard to look at the last two stages when you are deep and raw in grief.

The sixth stage is recovering from the damage caused by the relationship and...

Going through divorce brings out so many raw feelings. One of the major ones is grief – the mental sorrowing over the loss of the dreams one had for the marriage, the painful regret over what you wished it had been. To move through grief, one has to acknowledge the feelings of loss and learn not only to cope with them, but to overcome them while reclaiming and reinventing your life.

There is another feeling that often comes up during a divorce that can block the grieving process –...

Divorce With Dignity is a divorce facilitation service with the goal of getting people through their divorce in a holistic, cooperative, peaceful, and cost-effective way. One of the benefits we offer our clients is referrals for additional services they may need to make the divorce a smoother transition. For example, some clients may be in situations where they have a need to seek therapy or counseling during the divorce process. In these cases, we refer them to professionals like Susan...

Seven Stages of Grief
1. Shock and Denial
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
2. Pain and Guilt
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with suffering from unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it,...

In the groups that I lead, people often make deep connections by the end of the series. It is important to recognize that people come into the group for all different reasons: some people need support, some are having such raw emotions they need a place to go, some people need to hear that other people are going through similar things, some are looking for long term support, and others are opening the chapter for the first time about getting some therapy. When we’re expressing our...

Oftentimes, we have intense emotional states and get flooded with the emotions. It’s important to understand why this is happening. Sometimes, we get flooded with past traumas, but it’s important to slow down and remember not to act or react during this time. People in our group described times that they felt flooded with emotional intensity. A lot of times, people who are going through divorce are triggered by what’s going on currently but they are also being reminded of...

One of the things I have clients do regularly when they’re working on their relationships is to sign up for Marriage Daily Dialogue Question. I want them to see if any of these questions on this website could help them deal with some of the issues that are going on in their relationships as they may need to learn how to talk about issues in different ways.

One of the questions from March included, “How do I feel about our goals as a couple?” I think as couples proceed to...

There is something called the law of choice where we have the ability to take responsibility and choose new interpretations that empower when trying to heal from divorce. We can take back aspects of ourselves that we have projected onto our mate. We can observe what self-defeating behavior we’ve displayed and how to react without this self-defeating behavior. How do we respond to different situations? The pain from the past and the fear of the future often keeps us stuck and unable to...